I grew up in a household with one simple rule pertaining to education. Do anything you want, but don't fail a class. Viewed in today's context, this is a definite no-no for parents who want their kids to excel in school. And yet, in our house, we literally grew up under this rule. All of us may stay at home, skip school, not pay attention to any of our classes, ditch homework and have unlimited freedom regarding our studies, except the cardinal rule of not failing a single class. Nope, repeats are definitely out. My parents will not raise the roof if I get a 75 in my high school card, nor will I get privileges if I get an A, for both simply meant the same thing. I passed and I'll be moving on to the next level.

This may seem an abomination in today's culture of pushing kids to study, study, study, and I'll be the first to admit that it's quite a risk, but I now find myself practicing the same thing with my two preschoolers. And I have finally figured out why.

I have never been able to sufficiently explain to any of my friends why my parents seemed so happy whenever I tell them that I don't want to go to school. My father's usual words would be " Okay, stay at home, rest." There was nothing wrong with me and my siblings' health to warrant rest of any kind, but we got the same response everytime one of us wanted to skip school. This practice went all the way up to college for the five of us. And so I grew up not worrying about the homework for the next day, or the test next month. School became a part of my world, but not its entirety. It was a place where I had to be from June to March and that was that. Albeit, my experiences have gotten a bit harder in college, still, my college life was pretty much like my high school life. I report to class when I wanted to and I cut classes when I felt the urge.

Now I have two kids in preschool, and like any young parent, I am feeling the pressure of getting them ahead in academics. When the school informed us that they needed workbooks, then workbooks they got. When we were told to review them for their periodic test, I took a half day leave from my work to do just that, and yet amidst all these seemingly normal things a pressured parent must do, I find myself questioning the method which seems to be the norm these days.

I dont recall an instance when my mother or my father helped me do my numbers, or sat down to help me with my verbal skills and yet I could remember the very first time I learned the proper pronunciation of the word "genuine". I dont recall any instance at all when any of my parent pressured me to study, either for an exam or for an assignment, and yet I had no problems meeting deadlines or submitting volimonous work even at a young age. I have finally understood, that my parents method was in a way reverse psychology. Had I been pushed to do the right thing, being a stubborn-headed child, I would have done the opposite, and so from the start, recognizing this trait in my siblings and I, our parents removed the power of objection from all of us, and let us discover on our own what we needed to do.

And so I spent all my school years as a happy schooler. Inspite of many "restful days" spent in our couch and in moviehouses, I did graduate as scheduled, and modesty aside, got a few medals for my effort. I didn't have the advantage of having a computer at home, a set of encyclopedias and other resource materials while I was studying, and yet I didn't find it a complete hardship to course through primary, secondary and tertiary level. This is because I have not grown to hate school, nor have I felt the need to view it as hardship at all. This comes from the benefit of having two liberal minded parents who took a risk and let me become the person that I was meant to be academically.

School was school. It was a place of learning, sacrifice, hardwork, triumphs and failures.. But school ceased to be school once I stepped inside my home. I would put away my things and did what I loved to do. This is now something that I would like my kids to have. The freedom to appreciate their childhood that is pressure-free. To view school not as an end-all and be-all of their existence at this point in their lives, but as an expansion of their present world. I don't ever want them to wake up one day and refuse to go to school because they are too tired, or that they feel that their school-related problems are the end of their world. If they want to stay home and play, Ill give them the choice to figure out until when they want to play and when they want to go back learning formally.

I know now, that the reason why my parents didn't have qualms in letting me sleep late, or stay home is because they know that when I'm at home I am safe, and that eventually I would seek learning. In my own time, at my own pace. This was the gift my parents gave me yesterday, I can't give anything less for my children today.